Overall, a positive OGR containing an interesting and fun response to your title, a series of good designs, and an interesting range of skit ideas. However, I have few notes for you to consider. They are…
Establishing a clear character/ world logic is key to the success of your comedy. In your case you have chosen to ‘spoof’ filmmaking and specifically, Marvel filming the Captain America airport fight. A spoof functions by using the audience’s knowledge as a foundation before playing with their expectations. What you shouldn’t do is to tinker with the fundamental logic of that knowledge. For example, in your OGR there is no mention of ‘actors’, just Superhero’s. So, I am assuming that you have decided that ‘real Superhero’s’ are filming a film – Is that right? If yes, that’s a little odd. That decision breaks the logic of ‘spoofing Marvel filming’. If the audience see’s outtakes (filming) they will immediately know they are looking at actors playing Superhero’s. Changing that fundamental piece of ‘logical knowledge’ will just confuse your audience. Just use actors and play with the world (see below). It will make your film far easier to read and allow for more accessible comedy.
Unfortunately, that will change your skits. However, in the case of the Iron Man/ War Machine skit for example, it doesn’t work in its current ‘muddle’ form anyway - One ‘real flying Superhero’ and one fake Superhero suffering an on set practical effect gone wrong. That is really, one Superhero and one actor in a costume. Does that make sense? Confusing right? They should both be actors, one nails his fake (wire driven) landing, whilst the other gets caught up and is trapped hanging upside down in the air whilst parts of his costume falls off. You’re one piece of ‘what if world logic’ (subversion) is related to money and the use of expensive ‘VFX’. It’s…”what if the Marvel Film were secretly low budget practical films”. For example, instead of using sophisticated expensive VFX, they used carboard cut outs (plane etc) and wires. Therefore, your outtakes tell us that it was a really, really, cheap production and that’s why things went wrong an we’re looking at so many outtakes - And the actors messed around to entertain themselves.
Therefore, in your world are we really looking at Chris Evans, Robert Downey Jnr, and Tom Holland? If we are what personalities (internal qualities) do they have? How would Tom Holland react to missing his mark or being clumsy for example. How would that change your skits. Are you spoofing the actors too? Do they believe their roles a little too much?
Hopefully this feedback make sense. If not contact me and I’ll explain it in more depth.
Overall, a positive OGR containing an interesting and fun response to your title, a series of good designs, and an interesting range of skit ideas. However, I have few notes for you to consider. They are…
ReplyDeleteEstablishing a clear character/ world logic is key to the success of your comedy. In your case you have chosen to ‘spoof’ filmmaking and specifically, Marvel filming the Captain America airport fight. A spoof functions by using the audience’s knowledge as a foundation before playing with their expectations. What you shouldn’t do is to tinker with the fundamental logic of that knowledge. For example, in your OGR there is no mention of ‘actors’, just Superhero’s. So, I am assuming that you have decided that ‘real Superhero’s’ are filming a film – Is that right? If yes, that’s a little odd. That decision breaks the logic of ‘spoofing Marvel filming’. If the audience see’s outtakes (filming) they will immediately know they are looking at actors playing Superhero’s. Changing that fundamental piece of ‘logical knowledge’ will just confuse your audience. Just use actors and play with the world (see below). It will make your film far easier to read and allow for more accessible comedy.
Unfortunately, that will change your skits. However, in the case of the Iron Man/ War Machine skit for example, it doesn’t work in its current ‘muddle’ form anyway - One ‘real flying Superhero’ and one fake Superhero suffering an on set practical effect gone wrong. That is really, one Superhero and one actor in a costume. Does that make sense? Confusing right? They should both be actors, one nails his fake (wire driven) landing, whilst the other gets caught up and is trapped hanging upside down in the air whilst parts of his costume falls off.
You’re one piece of ‘what if world logic’ (subversion) is related to money and the use of expensive ‘VFX’. It’s…”what if the Marvel Film were secretly low budget practical films”. For example, instead of using sophisticated expensive VFX, they used carboard cut outs (plane etc) and wires. Therefore, your outtakes tell us that it was a really, really, cheap production and that’s why things went wrong an we’re looking at so many outtakes - And the actors messed around to entertain themselves.
Therefore, in your world are we really looking at Chris Evans, Robert Downey Jnr, and Tom Holland? If we are what personalities (internal qualities) do they have? How would Tom Holland react to missing his mark or being clumsy for example. How would that change your skits. Are you spoofing the actors too? Do they believe their roles a little too much?
Hopefully this feedback make sense. If not contact me and I’ll explain it in more depth.